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Age has wisdom.

Mango ManMango Man Posts: 13,114 AG
ROOSTER IN HIS DECLINING YEARS
An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years and the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn't hurt. So he buys a new **** from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in the barnyard. Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he's a little worried about being replaced. He walks up to the new bird.
"So you're the new stud in town? I bet you really think you're hot stuff don't you? Well I'm not ready for the chopping block yet. I'll bet I'm still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We'll run around it ten times and whoever finishes first gets to have all the hens for himself."
Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought he was more than a match for the old guy.
"You're on," he said, "and since I'm so great, I'll even give you a head start of half a lap. I'll still win easy!"
So the two roosters go over to the henhouse to start the race with all the hens gathering to watch. The race begins and all the hens start cheering the old rooster on. After the first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead.
After the second lap, the old guy's lead has slipped a little -- but he's still hanging in there. Unfortunately, the old rooster's lead continues to slip each time around, and by the fifth lap he's just barely in front of the young fella. By now the farmer has heard the commotion. He runs into the house, gets his shotgun and runs into the barnyard figuring a fox or something is after his chickens. When he gets there, he sees the two roosters running around the henhouse, with the old rooster still slightly in the lead. He immediately takes his shotgun, aims, fires, and blows the young rooster away.
"****. That's the third gay rooster I've bought this month."


America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.
Abraham Lincoln

Replies

  • pottydocpottydoc Port Saint JoePosts: 5,165 Admiral
    I'm offended. Mango needs to get sent to sensitivity training. 😂
  • NickhoogNickhoog Posts: 1,327 Officer
    Similar to the one with the old bull and the young "Let's just walk down the hill and do one REAL good..."
  • MelbourneMarkMelbourneMark Posts: 3,843 Captain
    That’s funny right there. 
  • Mackeral SnatcherMackeral Snatcher Posts: 12,681 AG
    If wisdom came with age I'd be one smart sob
    THERE SHOULD BE NO COMMERCIAL FISHING ALLOWED FOR ANY SPECIES THAT IS CONSIDERED OVERFISHED.
  • Florida BullfrogFlorida Bullfrog Posts: 4,847 Captain
    Must… not… spoil…

    Ah heck can’t help it. I can tell a farmer didn’t write that, as a young rooster chasing and old rooster would just mean the young rooster kicked the old rooster’s butt with his spurs and the old rooster is running off in banishment. A really good old rooster would stand his ground to the death. 

    There I said it. Now I feel ashamed… 


  • dave44dave44 Posts: 16,578 AG
    Must… not… spoil…

    Ah heck can’t help it. I can tell a farmer didn’t write that, as a young rooster chasing and old rooster would just mean the young rooster kicked the old rooster’s butt with his spurs and the old rooster is running off in banishment. A really good old rooster would stand his ground to the death. 

    There I said it. Now I feel ashamed… 


       Well you should!
      That job is already taken, and if you used the Google to come up with your opinion you are in real trouble.
  • GardawgGardawg IslamoradaPosts: 14,467 AG
    Chickens can be gay. 

    https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2020/04/27/lesbian-chickens-michelle-domino-quarantine-love-story-gay-animals-viral-twitter/


    This woman realising her chickens are in a lesbian relationship is the ultimate quarantine love story


    Two hens brought together in quarantine have fallen in love, and the story of how their owner realised she had lesbian chickens will melt your heart.

    Nothing about the match between the lovebirds was planned.

    In a viral Twitter thread, Amanda Brunton shared how she realised her two chickens were in a lesbian relationship.

    The first chicken, Domino, was not actually Amanda’s hen – she was a runaway, lost in the field’s near Amanda’s house.

    Because they knew she kept hens, Amanda’s neighbours brought Domino to her – but Domino wasn’t Amanda’s.

    After six weeks living in Amanda’s bathroom while she tried to find Domino’s owners, Amanda realised that she was going to be keeping the little chicken.

    But because Domino was so small, Amanda decided to get a bigger companion for her before letting her in with the rest of the flock.


    Introducing Michelle Obrahma: a big grey hen who was supposed to act as Domino’s protector.

    But things didn’t go as planned.

    Turns out, Michelle is afraid of her own shadow and gets picked on by the other chickens.

    Domino, on the other hand, is small but extremely assertive, and had to be very carefully introduced to the other chickens because she kept attacking them.

    Finally, Domino had asserted herself enough and was at the top of the pecking order.

    But Amanda noticed something odd – when Michelle failed to get any of the treats she brought, Domino would collect extra and take them back to Michelle.

    The two hens would have romantic dinners together away from the other chickens, and began sharing dust baths together.


    In the hen house, Domino and Michelle didn’t take a perch each like all the other chickens.

    Instead, the lesbian chickens slept on the same perch together, with one snuggled up under the others wing.

    Until this point, Amanda had blithely been putting their behaviour down to them being good friends.

    But when she spoke to her chicken breeder and told him about the things Domino did for Michelle – bringing her treats and extra food, and staying with her so they could eat together – the breeder gently set her straight.

    Domino’s behaviour was that of a rooster wooing a hen, she said – and Amanda realised that, unbeknownst to her, she’d had a lesbian chicken couple in her coop this whole time.

    Finishing off the clucking beautiful love story of her lesbian chickens, Amanda added a postscript to the Twitter thread where she shared the story.

    While Michelle has only laid two eggs in the entire year Amanda has had her, Domino is a regular layer – but her eggs are green.

    After all, brown eggs are just so heteronormative.


    "Forgiveness is a strange thing. It can be sometimes easier to forgive our enemies than our friends. It can be hardest of all to forgive people we love." Fred Rogers  
  • jcbcpajcbcpa Posts: 2,250 Captain
    Gardawg said:
    Chickens can be gay. 

    https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2020/04/27/lesbian-chickens-michelle-domino-quarantine-love-story-gay-animals-viral-twitter/


    This woman realising her chickens are in a lesbian relationship is the ultimate quarantine love story


    Two hens brought together in quarantine have fallen in love, and the story of how their owner realised she had lesbian chickens will melt your heart.

    Nothing about the match between the lovebirds was planned.

    In a viral Twitter thread, Amanda Brunton shared how she realised her two chickens were in a lesbian relationship.

    The first chicken, Domino, was not actually Amanda’s hen – she was a runaway, lost in the field’s near Amanda’s house.

    Because they knew she kept hens, Amanda’s neighbours brought Domino to her – but Domino wasn’t Amanda’s.

    After six weeks living in Amanda’s bathroom while she tried to find Domino’s owners, Amanda realised that she was going to be keeping the little chicken.

    But because Domino was so small, Amanda decided to get a bigger companion for her before letting her in with the rest of the flock.


    Introducing Michelle Obrahma: a big grey hen who was supposed to act as Domino’s protector.

    But things didn’t go as planned.

    Turns out, Michelle is afraid of her own shadow and gets picked on by the other chickens.

    Domino, on the other hand, is small but extremely assertive, and had to be very carefully introduced to the other chickens because she kept attacking them.

    Finally, Domino had asserted herself enough and was at the top of the pecking order.

    But Amanda noticed something odd – when Michelle failed to get any of the treats she brought, Domino would collect extra and take them back to Michelle.

    The two hens would have romantic dinners together away from the other chickens, and began sharing dust baths together.


    In the hen house, Domino and Michelle didn’t take a perch each like all the other chickens.

    Instead, the lesbian chickens slept on the same perch together, with one snuggled up under the others wing.

    Until this point, Amanda had blithely been putting their behaviour down to them being good friends.

    But when she spoke to her chicken breeder and told him about the things Domino did for Michelle – bringing her treats and extra food, and staying with her so they could eat together – the breeder gently set her straight.

    Domino’s behaviour was that of a rooster wooing a hen, she said – and Amanda realised that, unbeknownst to her, she’d had a lesbian chicken couple in her coop this whole time.

    Finishing off the clucking beautiful love story of her lesbian chickens, Amanda added a postscript to the Twitter thread where she shared the story.

    While Michelle has only laid two eggs in the entire year Amanda has had her, Domino is a regular layer – but her eggs are green.

    After all, brown eggs are just so heteronormative.


    I can’t believe that I just read all of that, much less admitted it. 
    It’s early and I’m still waking up.  :)

    God sleeps in the minerals, awakens in plants, walks in animals, and thinks in man.

    Arthur Young

  • MelbourneMarkMelbourneMark Posts: 3,843 Captain
    All heck, the chem trails got the chickens and frogs turning gay! 
  • Florida BullfrogFlorida Bullfrog Posts: 4,847 Captain
    Gardawg said:
    Chickens can be gay. 

    https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2020/04/27/lesbian-chickens-michelle-domino-quarantine-love-story-gay-animals-viral-twitter/


    This woman realising her chickens are in a lesbian relationship is the ultimate quarantine love story


    Two hens brought together in quarantine have fallen in love, and the story of how their owner realised she had lesbian chickens will melt your heart.

    Nothing about the match between the lovebirds was planned.

    In a viral Twitter thread, Amanda Brunton shared how she realised her two chickens were in a lesbian relationship.

    The first chicken, Domino, was not actually Amanda’s hen – she was a runaway, lost in the field’s near Amanda’s house.

    Because they knew she kept hens, Amanda’s neighbours brought Domino to her – but Domino wasn’t Amanda’s.

    After six weeks living in Amanda’s bathroom while she tried to find Domino’s owners, Amanda realised that she was going to be keeping the little chicken.

    But because Domino was so small, Amanda decided to get a bigger companion for her before letting her in with the rest of the flock.


    Introducing Michelle Obrahma: a big grey hen who was supposed to act as Domino’s protector.

    But things didn’t go as planned.

    Turns out, Michelle is afraid of her own shadow and gets picked on by the other chickens.

    Domino, on the other hand, is small but extremely assertive, and had to be very carefully introduced to the other chickens because she kept attacking them.

    Finally, Domino had asserted herself enough and was at the top of the pecking order.

    But Amanda noticed something odd – when Michelle failed to get any of the treats she brought, Domino would collect extra and take them back to Michelle.

    The two hens would have romantic dinners together away from the other chickens, and began sharing dust baths together.


    In the hen house, Domino and Michelle didn’t take a perch each like all the other chickens.

    Instead, the lesbian chickens slept on the same perch together, with one snuggled up under the others wing.

    Until this point, Amanda had blithely been putting their behaviour down to them being good friends.

    But when she spoke to her chicken breeder and told him about the things Domino did for Michelle – bringing her treats and extra food, and staying with her so they could eat together – the breeder gently set her straight.

    Domino’s behaviour was that of a rooster wooing a hen, she said – and Amanda realised that, unbeknownst to her, she’d had a lesbian chicken couple in her coop this whole time.

    Finishing off the clucking beautiful love story of her lesbian chickens, Amanda added a postscript to the Twitter thread where she shared the story.

    While Michelle has only laid two eggs in the entire year Amanda has had her, Domino is a regular layer – but her eggs are green.

    After all, brown eggs are just so heteronormative.


    So the moral of the story is that lesbian relationships are defined my mimicking heterosexual relationships where one partner takes on masculine behavior and pretends to be a male? 

    Maybe a chicken is just a chicken and not a model for human behavior either way? 
  • GardawgGardawg IslamoradaPosts: 14,467 AG
    My city cousin came to visit on our farm. I was showing her around the barn when our bull started servicing a young heifer.  I smiled at her and said, "I sure wish I could do that."
    She sweetly smiled at me and replied, "Well go ahead it's your cow."
    "Forgiveness is a strange thing. It can be sometimes easier to forgive our enemies than our friends. It can be hardest of all to forgive people we love." Fred Rogers  
  • gogittumgogittum Nature CoastPosts: 3,036 Captain
    Gardawg said:
    My city cousin came to visit on our farm. I was showing her around the barn when our bull started servicing a young heifer.  I smiled at her and said, "I sure wish I could do that."
    She sweetly smiled at me and replied, "Well go ahead it's your cow."
    Haha......forgot that one.  It's an oldie but a goodie.

    Reminds me tho'.....my girlfriend and I went to the Annual Carnival in about 1958 and in the livestock section 2 young pigs were going at it and it was pretty graphic.  Girlfriend was beet red but watched along with everyone else.  I tried to use it a springboard to our own activity but with no joy.  We were '50s high school kids and she was a nice girl.  Sigh.
  • mplspugmplspug Palmetto FloridaPosts: 15,998 AG
    Gardawg said:
    Chickens can be gay. 

    https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2020/04/27/lesbian-chickens-michelle-domino-quarantine-love-story-gay-animals-viral-twitter/


    This woman realising her chickens are in a lesbian relationship is the ultimate quarantine love story


    Two hens brought together in quarantine have fallen in love, and the story of how their owner realised she had lesbian chickens will melt your heart.

    Nothing about the match between the lovebirds was planned.

    In a viral Twitter thread, Amanda Brunton shared how she realised her two chickens were in a lesbian relationship.

    The first chicken, Domino, was not actually Amanda’s hen – she was a runaway, lost in the field’s near Amanda’s house.

    Because they knew she kept hens, Amanda’s neighbours brought Domino to her – but Domino wasn’t Amanda’s.

    After six weeks living in Amanda’s bathroom while she tried to find Domino’s owners, Amanda realised that she was going to be keeping the little chicken.

    But because Domino was so small, Amanda decided to get a bigger companion for her before letting her in with the rest of the flock.


    Introducing Michelle Obrahma: a big grey hen who was supposed to act as Domino’s protector.

    But things didn’t go as planned.

    Turns out, Michelle is afraid of her own shadow and gets picked on by the other chickens.

    Domino, on the other hand, is small but extremely assertive, and had to be very carefully introduced to the other chickens because she kept attacking them.

    Finally, Domino had asserted herself enough and was at the top of the pecking order.

    But Amanda noticed something odd – when Michelle failed to get any of the treats she brought, Domino would collect extra and take them back to Michelle.

    The two hens would have romantic dinners together away from the other chickens, and began sharing dust baths together.


    In the hen house, Domino and Michelle didn’t take a perch each like all the other chickens.

    Instead, the lesbian chickens slept on the same perch together, with one snuggled up under the others wing.

    Until this point, Amanda had blithely been putting their behaviour down to them being good friends.

    But when she spoke to her chicken breeder and told him about the things Domino did for Michelle – bringing her treats and extra food, and staying with her so they could eat together – the breeder gently set her straight.

    Domino’s behaviour was that of a rooster wooing a hen, she said – and Amanda realised that, unbeknownst to her, she’d had a lesbian chicken couple in her coop this whole time.

    Finishing off the clucking beautiful love story of her lesbian chickens, Amanda added a postscript to the Twitter thread where she shared the story.

    While Michelle has only laid two eggs in the entire year Amanda has had her, Domino is a regular layer – but her eggs are green.

    After all, brown eggs are just so heteronormative.


    So the moral of the story is that lesbian relationships are defined my mimicking heterosexual relationships where one partner takes on masculine behavior and pretends to be a male? 

    Maybe a chicken is just a chicken and not a model for human behavior either way? 
    Personification is a pet peeve of mine.  
    Just dropping grenades in OT
  • GardawgGardawg IslamoradaPosts: 14,467 AG
    mplspug said:
    Gardawg said:
    Chickens can be gay. 

    https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2020/04/27/lesbian-chickens-michelle-domino-quarantine-love-story-gay-animals-viral-twitter/


    This woman realising her chickens are in a lesbian relationship is the ultimate quarantine love story


    Two hens brought together in quarantine have fallen in love, and the story of how their owner realised she had lesbian chickens will melt your heart.

    Nothing about the match between the lovebirds was planned.

    In a viral Twitter thread, Amanda Brunton shared how she realised her two chickens were in a lesbian relationship.

    The first chicken, Domino, was not actually Amanda’s hen – she was a runaway, lost in the field’s near Amanda’s house.

    Because they knew she kept hens, Amanda’s neighbours brought Domino to her – but Domino wasn’t Amanda’s.

    After six weeks living in Amanda’s bathroom while she tried to find Domino’s owners, Amanda realised that she was going to be keeping the little chicken.

    But because Domino was so small, Amanda decided to get a bigger companion for her before letting her in with the rest of the flock.


    Introducing Michelle Obrahma: a big grey hen who was supposed to act as Domino’s protector.

    But things didn’t go as planned.

    Turns out, Michelle is afraid of her own shadow and gets picked on by the other chickens.

    Domino, on the other hand, is small but extremely assertive, and had to be very carefully introduced to the other chickens because she kept attacking them.

    Finally, Domino had asserted herself enough and was at the top of the pecking order.

    But Amanda noticed something odd – when Michelle failed to get any of the treats she brought, Domino would collect extra and take them back to Michelle.

    The two hens would have romantic dinners together away from the other chickens, and began sharing dust baths together.


    In the hen house, Domino and Michelle didn’t take a perch each like all the other chickens.

    Instead, the lesbian chickens slept on the same perch together, with one snuggled up under the others wing.

    Until this point, Amanda had blithely been putting their behaviour down to them being good friends.

    But when she spoke to her chicken breeder and told him about the things Domino did for Michelle – bringing her treats and extra food, and staying with her so they could eat together – the breeder gently set her straight.

    Domino’s behaviour was that of a rooster wooing a hen, she said – and Amanda realised that, unbeknownst to her, she’d had a lesbian chicken couple in her coop this whole time.

    Finishing off the clucking beautiful love story of her lesbian chickens, Amanda added a postscript to the Twitter thread where she shared the story.

    While Michelle has only laid two eggs in the entire year Amanda has had her, Domino is a regular layer – but her eggs are green.

    After all, brown eggs are just so heteronormative.


    So the moral of the story is that lesbian relationships are defined my mimicking heterosexual relationships where one partner takes on masculine behavior and pretends to be a male? 

    Maybe a chicken is just a chicken and not a model for human behavior either way? 
    Personification is a pet peeve of mine.  


    If I got a pet it would be a dog. 
    "Forgiveness is a strange thing. It can be sometimes easier to forgive our enemies than our friends. It can be hardest of all to forgive people we love." Fred Rogers  
  • MelbourneMarkMelbourneMark Posts: 3,843 Captain
    gogittum said:
    Gardawg said:
    My city cousin came to visit on our farm. I was showing her around the barn when our bull started servicing a young heifer.  I smiled at her and said, "I sure wish I could do that."
    She sweetly smiled at me and replied, "Well go ahead it's your cow."
    Haha......forgot that one.  It's an oldie but a goodie.

    Reminds me tho'.....my girlfriend and I went to the Annual Carnival in about 1958 and in the livestock section 2 young pigs were going at it and it was pretty graphic.  Girlfriend was beet red but watched along with everyone else.  I tried to use it a springboard to our own activity but with no joy.  We were '50s high school kids and she was a nice girl.  Sigh.
    Man I’m glad I grew up in the time of naughty movies to set the mood.  

    Y’all had to rely on nature in action!!
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