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Too much Perfume!!!

Fish HaidFish Haid Posts: 8,417 Admiral
I was sitting in a small restaurant eating my grits this morning. Actually, I was the only customer in there. A very large and beastly woman walked in and sat down about 10 feet from me. Her perfume chemical stench permeated the air. It got in my nose, and in my mouth. Suddenly, my eggs and ham tasted like crap. Why do they wear so much? It didn't even smell good - smelled like bug spray. I thought about asking her to leave, or paying her to leave, but she probably would have called me a racist.
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Replies

  • MGTeacherMGTeacher South GaPosts: 1,800 Captain
    Well be thankful some of her weave didn't get in your food.
  • SchmidtySchmidty Posts: 6,814 Admiral
    She was "man hunting:....and you were the target! :)
  • PolarPolar Lake WorthPosts: 22,432 AG
    did you crop dust her at least?
  • JokerKIJokerKI Posts: 5 Greenhorn
  • MadbeachMadbeach On the riverPosts: 970 Officer
    Why do hippies use patchouli (any is too much).
  • PolarPolar Lake WorthPosts: 22,432 AG
    omg, that stuff makes me want to puke!
  • MadbeachMadbeach On the riverPosts: 970 Officer
    Maybe big momma has a suitor down at the church.
  • phlatsphilphlatsphil Posts: 14,632 AG
    Not sure why the allusions to the woman being black.... my experiences with too much yucky perfume has been on older white women. I don't know why they wear it so heavy. Ever go into an elevator and wish you could crawl out thru the roof hatch because an older woman go on wearing too much perfume? And, there's one in particular my MIL wears that is so obnoxious. I don't know what it is, but my wife finally had to say something to her earlier this year.
  • capt louiecapt louie citrus countyPosts: 10,291 Moderator
    Didn't an airline recently make a passenger debark from the plane for this reason ?

    Imagine a long flight with that ..
    "You'll get your weather"
  • Soda PopinskiSoda Popinski GrovelandPosts: 12,646 AG
    Shalimar is the most disgusting thing ever invented. It's old ladies Drakkar. Makes my wife physically nauseated.

    Maybe she hadn't showered yet this week.
    You don't need fun to have alcohol
  • phlatsphilphlatsphil Posts: 14,632 AG
    capt louie wrote: »
    Didn't an airline recently make a passenger debark from the plane for this reason ?

    Imagine a long flight with that ..

    I seem to remember reading something about that a year or so ago.
  • Mister-JrMister-Jr Posts: 27,707 AG
    capt louie wrote: »
    Didn't an airline recently make a passenger debark from the plane for this reason ?

    Imagine a long flight with that ..

    I was flying home from Nashville on Saturday when a flight attendant (female) walked by my seat. I normally don't smell or notice perfume, but she smelled so good I wanted to grab her and start kissing her and she was no spring chicken.
    Vote for the other candidate
  • cadmancadman Home of the Gators Posts: 31,616 AG
    the ones who bother me and it is men and women, are the ones who smell like they haven't bathed in a while and use perfume or cologne to hide the stench and it just mixes together in dome foul fragrance

    Mini Mart Magnate

    I am just here for my amusement. 

  • MenziesMenzies Posts: 19,289 AG
    She was heavy on the perfume, you were eating grits.

    Just as bad as each other really.
    Maybe if we tell people that the brain is an App, they will start using it.
  • Fish HaidFish Haid Posts: 8,417 Admiral
    Menzies wrote: »
    She was heavy on the perfume, you were eating grits.

    Just as bad as each other really.

    Grits with BBQ sauce!
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  • SAENoleSAENole Posts: 11,010 AG
    Lots of smokers soak themselves in perfumes & colognes because they can't smell anything anyway.
    Warning Level 2
  • mplspugmplspug Palmetto FloridaPosts: 11,817 AG
    Mister-Jr wrote: »
    I was flying home from Nashville on Saturday when a flight attendant (female) walked by my seat. I normally don't smell or notice perfume, but she smelled so good I wanted to grab her and start kissing her and she was no spring chicken.

    Who are you? Pepe Le Pew???

    tumblr_m1u95cp2rv1qzhhi9o1_500.gif

    Captain Todd Approves

  • MGTeacherMGTeacher South GaPosts: 1,800 Captain
    SAENole wrote: »
    Lots of smokers soak themselves in perfumes & colognes because they can't smell anything anyway.

    Are you suggesting out resident user of Wacky Tobacky smell sense is not very good?:grin
  • mplspugmplspug Palmetto FloridaPosts: 11,817 AG
    phlatsphil wrote: »
    Not sure why the allusions to the woman being black.... .
    I thought about asking her to leave, or paying her to leave, but she probably would have called me a racist.

    I suppose she could have been an Indian, Indian, Asian, Latino or Eskimo???

    Captain Todd Approves

  • tankardtankard Posts: 7,031 Admiral
    Stop eating at Waffle House. Problem solved. You're welcome.

    And Menzies, just when I think you can't be any more poofy you prove me wrong again...

    If you don't like grits.....there really is no hope for you.
  • SchmidtySchmidty Posts: 6,814 Admiral
    cadman wrote: »
    the ones who bother me and it is men and women, are the ones who smell like they haven't bathed in a while and use perfume or cologne to hide the stench and it just mixes together in dome foul fragrance

    I once saw a woman at a Wal-Mart dousing her fat smelly son with Fabreese while saying how bad he stunk.

    ...after she was done she put the used container back on the shelf....ain't life grand...:)
  • tankardtankard Posts: 7,031 Admiral
    Don't shop at Wal-Mart. Problem solved. You're welcome.
  • SchmidtySchmidty Posts: 6,814 Admiral
    tankard wrote: »
    Don't shop at Wal-Mart. Problem solved. You're welcome.

    You know what Tankard....

    I wasn't aware that relaying something that I witnessed as being a "problem" that you needed to solve, but I will take you advice and quit going there.

    Now...do I get any points for being a "grit connoisseur"...and I'm not an instant grit guy...probably like you are...oh no....I take pride in my grits and make the best shrimp and grits with cheese, bacon and gravy that has ever been eaten on this planet.....and I serve that with jalapeño bacon corn bread...born in a cast iron skillet with a bucket of butter and a cement trowel, :)
  • GrizGriz Palm Beach Gardens, FloridaPosts: 9,896 Admin
    phlatsphil wrote: »
    Not sure why the allusions to the woman being black.... my experiences with too much yucky perfume has been on older white women. I don't know why they wear it so heavy. Ever go into an elevator and wish you could crawl out thru the roof hatch because an older woman go on wearing too much perfume? And, there's one in particular my MIL wears that is so obnoxious. I don't know what it is, but my wife finally had to say something to her earlier this year.

    Especially the floral fragrances that suck all of the oxygen out of the air. Like breathing talcum powder.
    The early bird may get the worm, but the Second Mouse gets the cheese. SW

    :Griz
  • GardawgGardawg Posts: 9,469 Admiral
    grits are but a blank canvas for a chef who is a true artist


    chinesebbqshrimpngrits1.jpg

    shrimp-grits-david.jpg

    creole-shrimp-and-cheese-grits-with-andouille-sausage-1.jpg
    “Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.

    Heres Tom with the Weather.”
  • MenziesMenzies Posts: 19,289 AG
    Yeah, but you guys aren't actually eating and tasting grits now are you. You're tasting all that stuff you put on it.

    Like BBQ sauce.
    Maybe if we tell people that the brain is an App, they will start using it.
  • GardawgGardawg Posts: 9,469 Admiral
    Menzies wrote: »
    Yeah, but you guys aren't actually eating and tasting grits now are you. You're tasting all that stuff you put on it.

    Like BBQ sauce.


    Ever eaten a sandwich?

    Bread also tastes plain.

    There are other foods besides potatoes and barley.
    “Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.

    Heres Tom with the Weather.”
  • tankardtankard Posts: 7,031 Admiral
    Schmidty wrote: »
    ..and I'm not an instant grit guy...probably like you are...


    Them's fighting words.

    Lucky you're like 98 years old and can get away with it.

    I will say, you're shrimp and grits sounds mighty tasty though.

    I like all grits....EXCEPT INSTANT!, but recently have come to prefer yellow corn grits. More flavor and texture, IMO.
  • SchmidtySchmidty Posts: 6,814 Admiral
    tankard wrote: »
    Them's fighting words.

    Lucky you're like 98 years old and can get away with it.

    I will say, you're shrimp and grits sounds mighty tasty though.

    I like all grits....EXCEPT INSTANT!, but recently have come to prefer yellow corn grits. More flavor and texture, IMO.

    Hahahahahahaha...:)

    Hey...I could probably use a good **** kicking...what are ya doing next Tuesday? :)

    Grits might very well possibly be the worlds most perfect food.....you can even make alcohol out of it.

    Tomorrow night I'm having beans and smoked hocks.... and with any luck...maybe next week a nice raccoon or possum.
  • SchmidtySchmidty Posts: 6,814 Admiral
    ....by the way...

    I boil my shrimp first and then use the leftover water to cook my grits in....Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
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