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Evidence that Bicyclists Are Self-Absorbed Monsters

cprcpr Posts: 9,309 Admiral
As we know, bicyclists are terrible. They’re terrible in large part because they’re horribly inconsiderate. They think it’s totally fine to do 10 mph on a street in front of a bus carrying 80 people. They think it’s fine to do 10 mph on a sidewalk where everyone else is moving 2 mph. They think it’s fine to rip up streets and parking spots in order to build infrastructure that very few people use. Their self-absorption is legendary.

It’s time to add another chapter to the legend, however. Bicyclists are so self-absorbed that they will violate ebola quarantines and risk spreading an organ-liquifying disease just so they can go on a bike ride. Not even, like, a bike ride to someplace. Just a leisurely spin on their monstrous, two-wheeled contraption.

How long are we going to allow these monsters to roam our streets? Say it loud, say it proud: It’s time to Ban Bikes. Or, rather: It’s time to Ban Bicyclists.

I think that’s a 2016 slogan we can all get behind.

"The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function." F. Scott Fitzgerald

"Prediction is very difficult, especially if it's about the future." Niels Bohr


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