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LOL - This guy Lied, and got caught. Then....

Fish HaidFish Haid Posts: 8,417 Admiral
Happened across this story on Reddit. Too funny:

I met this girl on Tinder and we really hit it off. I asked her out on a date to a cozy restaurant in our small town (Gainesville, FL).

I had to take the bus there (my moped broke down last week which is another story of its own) and she lived close the restaurant so it was convenient.

The date was going ok. It was kind of awkward at first because we just talked about the cold weather for 5 minutes -- so I decided to break the tension. A while ago, I heard about a life pro-tip where if you order French fries at a restaurant without salt, they have to make a fresh batch for you. I've been to this restaurant before and the guac is really good on some days and ok on other days.

When the waitress came in, we ordered chips and guac. I then asked the waitress, "Does the Guac have onions?" To which she responded, "Yes, it does". I then proceeded to tell her, "I have an extremely severe allergy to onions, can we get guac with no onions?" I told her I have an extremely severe allergy so she doesn't just take the guac they currently have and remove the onions; this forces them to make a fresh batch from scratch. After the waitress left, my date asked me, "are you really allergic?" To which I said "no :D, but this way, we get fresh guac". She was pretty impressed like "****, I'm stealing this one". When the guac came in, I asked her to give us onions on the side for my date.

The rest of the date went well. We ordered some drinks first and then food later. What I forgot to do when I was ordering food was to tell her not to put any onions in my food. When I got my dish, I took about 2-3 bites and the waitress came running to me frantically saying that there are onions in the food!! She thought it was her fault for not mentioning it to the chefs. I didnt know how to react so I just kind of dropped the food from my mouth and into the plate. Her superior walks in during this time and he's asking if everything is ok so I tell him that I forgot to mention not to put onions and that I have a severe allergy.

The first thing the manager does is apologize profusely and then ask if he should call an ambulance.

(Side note: I don't have any allergies at all and neither does anyone in my family or any of my friends. I have no idea what a severe allergic response looks like, but I know that it like swells up your face and for some reason, I thought it makes you cough a lot, I don't know why I thought that.)

Cut scene to now: I start kind of coughing, but assure him that everything is going to be fine. I tell him, "I barely got any onions in the bite". My date at this time went from kind of giggling a bit (when the waitress came in) to just straight up serious after all the attention just turned to us. I told them not to worry about calling an ambulance, and that I'm okay enough to go to the emergency room myself. I asked for the check but they insisted on me not paying. (Not like we ate anyway) but I still left a $20 for the waitress and assured her and the manager that it was only my fault and not the waitresses fault at all.

After leaving, my date was half-**** and half-laughing at the stupidity of this whole thing. I shot my shot and asked her if she'd just like to grab pizza over at her place, but she said she has to study. Now it is important to note that the bus stop where I grab my bus to go home is RIGHT OPPOSITE THE RESTAURANT. I'm sitting there looking at cats fetching stuff on Reddit when the supervisor pulls up in his car at the stop. He thinks that I am taking the bus to the emergency room.

He kept insisting that he drop me to the emergency room. He felt responsible and didnt want anything to happen to me. I finally gave up and told him , "Okay". In my head, I thought I'd just let him drop me there and then I'll take an uber back home. However, we get there AND HE WANTS TO COME IN TO MAKE SURE EVERYTHING IS OK. I'm like hey man, trust me, IM OKAY. Nothing is going to happen to me. You can leave. It was so awkward. We were parked and he kept asking if I'm sure and I'm like yes I'm sure don't worry, please leave you dont have to come in with me.

At the end he said he'd just walk me in, use the restroom and leave. We walk in the emergency room and I'm the only person there. Great. I had to walk to the nurse and tell her that I might be having a slight allergic reaction. Supervisor uses the restroom and asks again if everything is fine and I'm like yes, everything is going to be okay. "Thank you so much for everything." He gives me his number and tells me to inform him once I'm out.

Here I am. A healthy 25 year old adult. Having to pay $500 to visit a **** emergency room for no **** reason: Another nurse came up to me to take my vitals and the doctor asked what was wrong and I had to sheepishly tell him, "I think I might have been having an allergic reaction". He says, "Are you allergic to anything?" And I go "No".

He gave me a benadryl and sent me out. I then spent another $25 to Uber home. I told what happened to my friend and she said I was the worst kind of ****. I learned my lesson and will never pretend to have an allergy again.

TL;DR: Pretended to have an allergy to get fresh guac to impress my date. Got served the food I was fake allergic to, and was forced to visit the ER.

Edit: I guess I'm George Costanza now. Sorry everyone. What would George Costanza do in this situation?

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