Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon... No matter how good you are, the bird is going to crap on the board and strut around like it won anyway. I AM NOT A RACIST
This is True..but their way more Reliable... Breakfast..hit the crapper Lunch , hold tight and try and make it home.. Out in the boat , just do it and cry ..Take me home....
There was an old fisherman in Key West that lived on a houseboat. His name was Whicky Jack. He used to chew plug tobacco and wear white boxer shorts on the boat. You couldn't tell if he had his drawers on correctly because of the tobacco stains on one side and the chit stains on the other.
“Everyone behaves badly--given the chance.”
― Ernest Hemingway
"Forgiveness is a strange thing. It can be sometimes easier to forgive our enemies than our friends. It can be hardest of all to forgive people we love." Fred Rogers
To clarify, no I did not shart my shorts. We ate at a restaurant only 5 miles from my house and just as we finished I told my wife we need to go NOW. Fortunately the 5 miles does not include traffic lights and only 1 stop sign so I made it home but it was close. My point was there was no forwarning.
A colectomy, or, colon resection, removes all or part of the large intestine.
Colostomy
A colostomy is a surgical procedure during which your surgeon creates a hole in your abdominal wall and pulls one end of the colon through the opening. Surgeons perform colostomy procedures to treat a number of colon and rectal conditions.
Endoscopic Surgery
Endoscopic surgery is performed using a scope, a flexible tube with a camera and light at the tip. This allows your surgeon to see inside your colon and perform procedures without making major incisions, allowing for easier recovery time and less pain and discomfort. Snaring is the most common surgical procedure that can be performed through any of the endoscopes. A snare is a wire formed like a lasso that is looped over a tumor and tightened; then the wire is electrified to prevent bleeding as it cuts through.
Hemorrhoidectomy
Your doctor may first recommend nonsurgical treatments for hemorrhoids, including lifestyle changes and medications. If you tried home treatments and did not feel sufficient relief, you may be a candidate for surgery. Surgery for hemorrhoids is called a hemorrhoidectomy. During a hemorrhoidectomy, your doctor will place you under local anesthesia and make incisions around your **** to remove the hemorrhoids. A hemorrhoidectomy is generally an outpatient procedure, meaning you can go home the same day. You may feel some tenderness around the incisions. Hemorrhoidectomy often provides the best long-term results for hemorrhoids.
Ileal Pouch Anal Anastomosis (J-Pouch)
Ileal pouch anal anastomosis (IPAA), also called the J-pouch procedure, is a procedure to create a pouch from the end of your small intestine and attach the pouch to the ****. If you need to have your large intestine (colon) removed, IPAA restores your stool function. Surgeons perform IPAA for patients who needed their large intestine removed during a procedure called a colectomy, or colon resection. Patients can live without a colon, but bowel control can be problematic. IPAA helps restore control over bowel function.
Procedure
In the procedure,
Your surgeon removes your large intestine and create the pouch from the small intestine. He or she then creates a temporary ileostomy, which you will have for two months, during which time your bowel and the new pouch have time to heal.
After two months, you have a second operation, and your surgeon reverses the ileostomy. The pouch is now where stool will collect. You retain control of the anal muscles, allowing you to eliminate waste normally.
After the procedure, you will probably have more bowel movements compared to those without a pouch, but it does not greatly interfere with your quality of life.
Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD) Surgery
Inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), which primarily includes ulcerative colitis and Crohn’s disease, causes flare-ups of intense intestinal pain that may require hospitalization. Your doctor will probably first recommend lifestyle changes and medications to relieve symptoms of IBD. However, if you do not find relief through nonsurgical methods, you may be a candidate for a surgical procedure.
Surgeons perform surgery to remove the colon (colectomy) to treat ulcerative colitis and Crohn’s disease. The surgery is highly effective against ulcerative colitis, curing the disease and removing the risk of colon cancer.
Internal Sphincterotomy
Surgeons often perform an internal sphincterotomy to treat anal fissures (small tears in the mucous lining of the rectum). Fissures often resolve on their own, through dietary changes and medications. However, if you have not found relief through nonsurgical methods, you may be a candidate for an internal sphincterotomy. The internal sphincter is the muscle in your body that opens and closes to allow stool to pass from the body. The goal of an internal sphincterotomy procedure is to stretch or cut the internal sphincter to weaken the muscle temporarily, allowing it to heal.
During an internal sphincterotomy, your doctor will use a local anesthetic to numb the area, or a spinal anesthetic, which numbs the entire lower body. In some cases, general anesthesia may be used. They will make a small incision in the internal anal sphincter to reduce pressure on the muscle. Keep in mind that a sphincterotomy does not close the actual fissure. Anal fissures must heal on their own; a sphincterotomy lessens the spasms and relaxes the muscle, thus allowing the fissure to heal and close.
Rectopexy
Rectopexy is a surgical procedure to treat rectal prolapse. Some patients with mild cases of rectal prolapse may find relief by altering their diet or using laxatives or stool softeners. However, if these methods did not adequately improve your symptoms, you may be a candidate for rectopexy. This procedure repositions the internal structures and secures them in place.
Before Surgery
Prior to rectopexy, you will need to undergo a bowel-cleansing regimen, so your digestive system is free of stool for the procedure. During rectopexy, your surgeon will make an incision along your abdomen, separate the rectum from the surrounding tissues, and lift the rectum and suture it to the sacrum, or lower backbone, possibly using a mesh-like material to provide extra reinforcement. Your surgeon may perform this surgery in conjunction with anterior resection surgery, during which part of your colon (large intestine) is removed.
After Surgery
Following your surgery, you will need to give your body time to heal. Our medical team will discuss the recovery period with you. You will need to follow a liquid diet until your bowel function returns to normal, restrict certain activities that place strain on your abdomen, including lifting, and avoid coughing and straining during bowel movements. Complete recovery takes about four to six weeks.
Resection
A resection is a surgical procedure to remove all or part of a diseased organ or tissue
"Forgiveness is a strange thing. It can be sometimes easier to forgive our enemies than our friends. It can be hardest of all to forgive people we love." Fred Rogers
Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon... No matter how good you are, the bird is going to crap on the board and strut around like it won anyway. I AM NOT A RACIST
I can't be the only person who's gotten home from work and had the wife coming at you arms out ready for a hug and had to give her the heisman stiff arm while yelling "I've gotta ****!" and hot footing it to the bathroom.
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Replies
I AM NOT A RACIST
Breakfast..hit the crapper
Lunch , hold tight and try and make it home..
Out in the boat , just do it and cry ..Take me home....
Oh yeah I like that, that’s good.
So is it safe to guess that you sharted?!
“Everyone behaves badly--given the chance.”
― Ernest Hemingway
The bad news is as you age, your opportunities not to make will be more frequent.
Types of Colon and Rectal Surgery
Colectomy
A colectomy, or, colon resection, removes all or part of the large intestine.Colostomy
A colostomy is a surgical procedure during which your surgeon creates a hole in your abdominal wall and pulls one end of the colon through the opening. Surgeons perform colostomy procedures to treat a number of colon and rectal conditions.
Endoscopic Surgery
Endoscopic surgery is performed using a scope, a flexible tube with a camera and light at the tip. This allows your surgeon to see inside your colon and perform procedures without making major incisions, allowing for easier recovery time and less pain and discomfort. Snaring is the most common surgical procedure that can be performed through any of the endoscopes. A snare is a wire formed like a lasso that is looped over a tumor and tightened; then the wire is electrified to prevent bleeding as it cuts through.
Hemorrhoidectomy
Your doctor may first recommend nonsurgical treatments for hemorrhoids, including lifestyle changes and medications. If you tried home treatments and did not feel sufficient relief, you may be a candidate for surgery. Surgery for hemorrhoids is called a hemorrhoidectomy. During a hemorrhoidectomy, your doctor will place you under local anesthesia and make incisions around your **** to remove the hemorrhoids. A hemorrhoidectomy is generally an outpatient procedure, meaning you can go home the same day. You may feel some tenderness around the incisions. Hemorrhoidectomy often provides the best long-term results for hemorrhoids.
Ileal Pouch Anal Anastomosis (J-Pouch)
Ileal pouch anal anastomosis (IPAA), also called the J-pouch procedure, is a procedure to create a pouch from the end of your small intestine and attach the pouch to the ****. If you need to have your large intestine (colon) removed, IPAA restores your stool function. Surgeons perform IPAA for patients who needed their large intestine removed during a procedure called a colectomy, or colon resection. Patients can live without a colon, but bowel control can be problematic. IPAA helps restore control over bowel function.
Procedure
In the procedure,
Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD) Surgery
Inflammatory bowel disease (IBD), which primarily includes ulcerative colitis and Crohn’s disease, causes flare-ups of intense intestinal pain that may require hospitalization. Your doctor will probably first recommend lifestyle changes and medications to relieve symptoms of IBD. However, if you do not find relief through nonsurgical methods, you may be a candidate for a surgical procedure.
Surgeons perform surgery to remove the colon (colectomy) to treat ulcerative colitis and Crohn’s disease. The surgery is highly effective against ulcerative colitis, curing the disease and removing the risk of colon cancer.
Internal Sphincterotomy
Surgeons often perform an internal sphincterotomy to treat anal fissures (small tears in the mucous lining of the rectum). Fissures often resolve on their own, through dietary changes and medications. However, if you have not found relief through nonsurgical methods, you may be a candidate for an internal sphincterotomy. The internal sphincter is the muscle in your body that opens and closes to allow stool to pass from the body. The goal of an internal sphincterotomy procedure is to stretch or cut the internal sphincter to weaken the muscle temporarily, allowing it to heal.
During an internal sphincterotomy, your doctor will use a local anesthetic to numb the area, or a spinal anesthetic, which numbs the entire lower body. In some cases, general anesthesia may be used. They will make a small incision in the internal anal sphincter to reduce pressure on the muscle. Keep in mind that a sphincterotomy does not close the actual fissure. Anal fissures must heal on their own; a sphincterotomy lessens the spasms and relaxes the muscle, thus allowing the fissure to heal and close.
Rectopexy
Rectopexy is a surgical procedure to treat rectal prolapse. Some patients with mild cases of rectal prolapse may find relief by altering their diet or using laxatives or stool softeners. However, if these methods did not adequately improve your symptoms, you may be a candidate for rectopexy. This procedure repositions the internal structures and secures them in place.
Before Surgery
Prior to rectopexy, you will need to undergo a bowel-cleansing regimen, so your digestive system is free of stool for the procedure. During rectopexy, your surgeon will make an incision along your abdomen, separate the rectum from the surrounding tissues, and lift the rectum and suture it to the sacrum, or lower backbone, possibly using a mesh-like material to provide extra reinforcement. Your surgeon may perform this surgery in conjunction with anterior resection surgery, during which part of your colon (large intestine) is removed.
After Surgery
Following your surgery, you will need to give your body time to heal. Our medical team will discuss the recovery period with you. You will need to follow a liquid diet until your bowel function returns to normal, restrict certain activities that place strain on your abdomen, including lifting, and avoid coughing and straining during bowel movements. Complete recovery takes about four to six weeks.
Resection
A resection is a surgical procedure to remove all or part of a diseased organ or tissuehttp://https//www.medstargeorgetown.org/our-services/general-surgery/treatments/colon-and-rectal-surgery/types-of-colon-and-rectal-surgery/
I AM NOT A RACIST