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Alternatives to assisted living or skilled nursing facilities?

Triple Threat 33TTriple Threat 33T Port CanaveralPosts: 18,669 Admin
We're in the process of researching the different options for an assisted living or possibly a skilled nursing facility. Possibly a facility that's focused on memory care for someone with Alzheimer's or something similar.

Have you had to place a family member in a nursing home or skilled nursing facility for any reason?

Any input would be appreciated.

What about options for full time care at home? That would be preferable to taking someone out of their own home and invironment but what sort of care is available and what about cost?

Its an unfortunate situation but sometimes it gets to a point where a spouse is not physically able to care for them.

Thoughts?
"Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands. Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need. Amen."

Replies

  • JabbarrJabbarr Posts: 35 Greenhorn
    My main comment is as follows: Once you have decided on what type of care is best make the decision that seems best and move on it. Err on the size of a higher level of care than may be needed at the time. With the elders we have so far been involved with most often the move has been to little too late or resulted in having to shortly move again to a higher level of care. This in large part is because of hand-wringing by those who would be moved or other family members.
  • dave44dave44 Posts: 11,776 AG
    Grandfather 12 years ago. Grandmother recently. It’s not easy, but if they are sociable it helps. Grandfather had advanced Parkinson’s though. He passed at 93. It was a tough few years. Sorry, it doesn’t help but I hope you find what you need.
  • cadmancadman Home of the Gators Posts: 33,389 AG
    I would recommend you start here.

    https://www.alz.org/care/alzheimers-dementia-in-home-health.asp

    The biggest issue is the cost of these programs. It can range from $1000 a month to $10,000 a month depending on the service and facility.

    I had to put my mother into long term care several years back due to dementia and her health. She ended up on medicaid due to the $7000 a month cost of the facility.

    Mini Mart Magnate

    I am just here for my amusement. 

  • Mango TangoMango Tango Posts: 2,019 Captain
    If your loved one is a veteran check with VA to see if they have the Mainsl program in your area. In St Pete they did and that program paid me approx $4k month to take care of my Dad in my home. Before moving in with me we took a few tours of the assisted living facilities in my area so he could get an idea of what that looked like and the cost.........anywhere from $2800 to $8500.

    He stayed with me for two years then decided he wanted the more active social environment of a local ALF that my neighbor owns. He ended up spending $3k a month of his own $$ for a private room. They also had a dementia ward. He passed a year later due to complications of prostate ca but he really did enjoy the ALF.
  • LuckyMrSwLuckyMrSw Posts: 3,208 Captain
    In the final couple of years with my stepdad, my mom explored many options that you are inquiring about. Ultimately went with stay at home care. Leased a bed with pneumatic mattress from local hospital supply store, and hired assistance every day from like 0700-2000, and I think my mom paid 15-20 an hour.. She came highly recommended as well as our own vetting and we were all very comfortable in the decisions we made for his last couple.years. Hope this helps in some way, and let me know if you have further questions.
    Please stop derailing my thread.
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  • wynnvwynnv Posts: 394 Deckhand
    My mother has suffered multiple strokes along with many other health issues. She is basically non ambulatory and has dementia. She has spent many months in nursing homes and short term rehab facilities after different medical issues. I got to see firsthand the good and bad of long term care. She was miserable at those places so I made the decision to take care of her many years ago. I have two caregivers that alternate days taking care of her. I take care of her in the evenings and weekends. It can be very challenging at times but I know she is happier and better off here with me. There are good facilities that provide quality care and places that do not. Unfortunately the care is totally dependent on the nurses and CNA's and most if not all places are understaffed. The best advice I can give is do what you think is best for you. Best wishes and good luck.
  • nuevowavonuevowavo Posts: 6,823 Admin
    My Mom required care at the end of last year. We opted for a full time live-in. Went through an agency and got a wonderful woman. The cost was $250/day, but luckily Mom had long-term care insurance that defrayed part of the cost. There are some that charge $150/day, but you get what you pay for.
    Federales, bring my baby back to me!
  • Flats2blueFlats2blue Posts: 278 Deckhand
    My wife and I owned a company that provided support to families and elders in this situation. I would suggest you research and find a similar company in the area where the person lives. They are professionals that deal with this every day and they can go in and evaluate the person(s), identify and explain the options they would suggest, and put you in touch with the right vetted contacts in the area. As with any professional this can cost you some money for the evaluation, but it is money well spent. Trying to convince your own parents that they need help is a challenge and having a professional work with them will work much better. Plus the local knowledge of where/who to work with for any services needed is invaluable.

    Start here and use their links to find participating, professionally certified care managers. https://www.aginglifecare.org/

    If your family is in the Clearwater/Tarpon Springs area then I can recommend a company to work with for consultation and support.

    Good luck with your journey.

    Mark
  • baitstealerbaitstealer Posts: 178 Deckhand
    Look up local in-home care providers.There are many options available.From visiting nurse service to 24 hr in home companion providers.
    Don't know about costs,but there are options.These services are way better than any nursing home type facility.Nursing homes are always understaffed and their employees are overworked.They won't deliver the quality of care,that an in home provider can.
  • cadmancadman Home of the Gators Posts: 33,389 AG
    There is no doubt that if you can afford the $4500 to $7500 a month for the service it is best. But it gets expensive and most insurance, Medicare, and Medicaid will not cover it. there are not many who can pay $50,000 or more a year for care.

    Mini Mart Magnate

    I am just here for my amusement. 

  • SeaSpySeaSpy Posts: 410 Deckhand
    Find a private >20 bed Alf nearby you.

    Then go meet the administrator.
    Call AHCA

    Speak with other family members with residents there.
    Speak with the residents.

    I once owned a 8 bed ALF. In Hollywood.

    Nice place
    But a 24/7 job

    Sold it a couple years later.

    Search till you find the right one for you and your folks needs.

    Good luck.
    Ron Alford Expert Investigations & Surveillance
    www.seaspy.theplan.com
  • TarponatorTarponator Under a BridgePosts: 17,011 AG
    I have nothing to add but compassion for having to make such difficult decisions. Happy Holidays, TT.
  • Cane PoleCane Pole Stuart, FLAPosts: 9,928 Admiral
    Patients with dementia, etc are classified in to "Memory Care" facilities/sections now days, and that is a good bit more expensive.

    It's all very expensive. You could almost go on a long cruise for the same money.

    My good friend takes care of her mother who has 100% dementia, and also has a 24hour non-licensed caregiver 4 days a week. It's still a lot of time and money. I would go totally crazy.
    Live music 7 nights a week: http://www.terrafermata.com/_events
  • Florida Ex-patFlorida Ex-pat Posts: 586 Officer
    We're in the process of researching the different options for an assisted living or possibly a skilled nursing facility. Possibly a facility that's focused on memory care for someone with Alzheimer's or something similar.

    Have you had to place a family member in a nursing home or skilled nursing facility for any reason?

    Any input would be appreciated.

    What about options for full time care at home? That would be preferable to taking someone out of their own home and invironment but what sort of care is available and what about cost?

    Its an unfortunate situation but sometimes it gets to a point where a spouse is not physically able to care for them.

    Thoughts?

    If you have a school of nursing in your area you can post a job there for nursing students. It is a good way to assistance from people who are capable of this type of care. Really depends on how much skilled nursing care is needed. If not much this may be a good way to go.
  • Nick NikonNick Nikon Posts: 3,425 Captain
    The cost of real skilled care is enormous, and the lack of options, daunting.

    If it isn't too late, a living will and/or advance directive is highly recommended.

    ( By "too late", we mean the person's not already been adjudged incompetent. )

    Make certain that the person named "proxy" is willing to abide by the document.

    ( It can go very wrong ... sitcom celebrity "Gary Coleman" was an example. )

    Having the letters "DNR" noted on their chart is also a very good idea.

    It stands for "Do Not Recessitate". Real life isn't like TV or the movies.

    80% of the time, it doesn't work, and when it does, the results aren't good.

    "Success" can mean days, weeks, months, or years hooked up to wires and tubes.

    Also keep in mind that 60% of all deaths due to "gun violence" are suicides.

    Many wish to reserve their option to "check out early", and do so on a regular basis.

    Precautions are in order.

    Best wishes for a merciful outcome.
  • HeatwaveHeatwave Posts: 1,997 Captain
    SeaSpy wrote: »
    Find a private >20 bed Alf nearby you.

    Then go meet the administrator.
    Call AHCA

    Speak with other family members with residents there.
    Speak with the residents.

    I once owned a 8 bed ALF. In Hollywood.

    Nice place
    But a 24/7 job

    Sold it a couple years later.

    Search till you find the right one for you and your folks needs.

    Good luck.

    What did it cost to get it started ? Or did you buy it ? First thing i think is being one of the 8, have my daughter and wife run it and it pays for itself... Only have one kid, so things kind of fall on her lap, or ours... Even if she wanted no parts of it, somehow it has to be watched over...
    Funny how you think about having kids, not, etc... Then you look over and see one of the buddies your admired in your 20 - 40s who was living it up, not a care or family responsibility in the world and NOW... All alone
  • stc1993stc1993 Albany, GA Carrabelle, FLPosts: 7,679 Admiral
    Heatwave wrote: »
    What did it cost to get it started ? Or did you buy it ? First thing i think is being one of the 8, have my daughter and wife run it and it pays for itself... Only have one kid, so things kind of fall on her lap, or ours... Even if she wanted no parts of it, somehow it has to be watched over...
    Funny how you think about having kids, not, etc... Then you look over and see one of the buddies your admired in your 20 - 40s who was living it up, not a care or family responsibility in the world and NOW... All alone

    My wife had 2 PCH's for almost 30 yrs. We closed them in 2011 the state paper work & rules just got to much. The cost of having an RN on site & all the BS was just to much. This was in GA though.

    We had 2 clients for over 25 yrs. you get attached to them like family. Most of our people were MR & downs syndrome.
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