I generally do not post my drama or ask for advice on internet forums. Particularly a fishing forum. However over the years I have learned many things and obtained valuable information on many subjects from the community on this forum, so here goes.
My girlfriend of seven years has two children a 11 and 13 year old boy. The 11 year old suffers from mental health issues. He has had many diagnosis to include Tourettes, ADHD, compulsive obsessive disorder, bipolar among others. He has been under the care of a psychiatrist from a very young age and they have tried 4 or 5 different medications to keep him under control. He was born with craniosynostosis and had surgery at 3 months The best way to describe his behavior is he can be very normal (although slow) and can be very creative at times. He gets into fits of rage that is best described as total meltdown, anger, anxiety and aggression. Discipline seems to escalate his behavior as it seems he simply can not control his emotions.
The week prior he was taken of his meds due to swelling and other issues he was experiencing and began a new med last Monday. Tuesday he went meltdown and was Baker Acted by local law enforcement and taken to the adolescent unit at a local mental health facility. (He was Baker Acted before at 6 years of age.) We thought this might be a good thing so he could be evaluated given proper meds and sedated if needed to control his aggression. It turns out they gave him no meds for 2 days and basically let him roam the ward, escaping once when he walked out behind one of the doctors while he was leaving. They finally started him back on his new meds and gave him injections of a sedative to calm his behavior. At one point they called my girlfriend and asked her what she did at home to control his behavior and stated "we cant have him here tearing up our facility".
At that point his mothers maternal instincts took over as the whole experience was tearing her apart. She removed him from the facility against the doctors orders and brought him home. Unfortunately his aggression was as bad or worse and he would not calm down, holes in the doors, holes in the wall and a broken window are a few of the destructive actions he took. She dealt with it for a day and a half, local law enforcement was called and he was Baker Acted again.
This time the same doctor that said he shouldn't be removed from the facility when she got him on Saturday, removed the Baker Act as soon as he arrived. They then called his mother to come get him. When we arrived at the facility we asked to speak with the doctor who of course was not available, so we asked to speak to the supervisor. She stated that the doctor evaluated him and determined his issue was organic and he did not need to be in their facility. I in turn asked where should he be only to get the shrugged shoulder look and she then stated that we should ask his regular doctor.
His obsessive behavior makes him lock on to things and can not let go. One of the things he obsesses on is fishing and whenever we go out of town on boating and fishing trips he wants to fish every waking moment of the day and night. He will stand for hours and hours pole in hand trying to catch fish.
From my perspective it is a terrible and heartbreaking thing to watch and I cannot begin to imagine the range of emotions it puts my girlfriend through on a daily basis. Most of her family thinks she should put him somewhere because he is a danger to himself and others at times. I tell her no, not at 11 years of age. I am not even sure of what options are available other than making him a award to the state.
Having grown up with a sister who had mental health issues I am aware of the lack of resources available. She passed at 42 years of age due to her issues. I had hoped that since that time things have changed. Apparently that is not the case.
I apologize for the long read but am looking for any insight that someone might have. Real world experience...know someone that dealt with it.... heard about this resource ect......
Any info or insight is appreciated. Thanks
Imo, theres nothing worse than hearing about a kid going through problems, mental or physically. The feeling of not being able to help him is worse.
Good luck and may god bless you all.
We also have a child (actually now young adult) with challenges.
I can write a book here on some of the things you are struggling with.
However just one single thought for now.
The people working with your GF's child have his best interests at heart. They know this ****, they deal with it day in and day out.
If you feel you have a good facility, then your GF needs to trust them.
Your job now is to give her a ton of support. That is easier to write that it will be to do. You will fight, argue, cry, and have sullen times.
But if you both can manage through this, you will be the strongest parents in the world!
��I agree. My son was kicked out of three private schools. They only want robots. He was hyper and too smart for his own good.and funny. It was hell thru those early years. He grew out of it and had a post 12th grade equivalent in the 7th grade. He got the last laugh. He did not have mental issues although when he was young we got that boy ain't right. Just because he couldn't sit still.
Sounds like your boy has other issues. No problem posting here. My question if you don't mind me asking is why? Did she have a healthy pregnancy and the boy a healthy up brininging socially?
why is she waiting on police to Baker Act him?
Have you contacted the Department of family services for help?
Does the child receive SSI to help offset the costs of dealing with his disability?
Do she have health care insurance? If the issue is due to a medical condition, the policy should cover some care.
I don't know how bad the child is, or how severe his issues are, they sound pretty bad. I had a friend a long time ago who ended up having to put their child into institutional care due to severe mental issues.
My best wished to you for having to deal with such a heartbreaking issue for the mother. Try to get some help from as many sources as possible.
Former Mini Mart Magnate
I am just here for my amusement.
Pregnancy was normal. As far as upbringing father was a POS and took off when the kids were really young. Girlfriend has been a wonderful mother and very patient and understanding of his issues. The 13 year old is a well adjusted teenager. As I stated the issues started at a very early age.
He was Baker Acted by the sheriffs office because of his behavior when the officer arrived.
Yes on family services.
Yes he has received SSI for quite some time.
Yes on insurance.
Obviously institutional care would be the last resort. From what I have heard and seen to this point good resources for mental health are limited.
He obviously needs professional care/intervention. Please don't take this as criticism, as I think the kid's mother is doing her best in an extremely difficult situation - I would suggest that calling for professional help, rejecting that help and then calling for it again isn't in the child's best interest.
Yes. Marijuana cures everything. Or is it nothing?
SLOW DOWN THE INFLAMMATION. Inflammation anywhere in the body disrupts serotonin metabolism—and people with OCD are often in a state of chronic, low-grade inflammation. Get enough vitamin D. Ask your doctor to test you for vitamin D deficiency (which I define as a blood level below 30 ng/mL)
ADD and ADHD again Vit D defeciency
Bi Polar and Vit D defeciency
Also, increased prevalence of vitamin D deficiency has been reported in individuals who suffer from serious, chronic psychiatric conditions such as schizophrenia and depression. Until now, however, the evidence of vitamin D deficiency among patients who are diagnosed with bipolar disorder is limited
Lack of sleep and the body can not repair or recover, Vitamin D deficiency and you have created a monster of a problem. All my brothers had sleep apnea and all were diagnosed with ADD and ADHD and Tourettes all had almost immediate recoveries after CPAP machines. Sleep apnea guess what they now believe to be the cause Vitamin D deficiency. Certainly can't hurt to try. Tell me about his diet. Without exception a poor diet again magnifies this.
God Bless your family and never quit fighting.
Although I do not know DrK nor the hospital he suggests, this is precisely the type of advice I would be investigating if I were the OP.
We looked into Wolfsons Children's already. They would be the first choice. Unfortunately they have limited beds available for the Behavioral Health Center. He does have an appointment scheduled for Nemours for a full neurological work up. He has had them before but its been quite a few years ago. I really appreciate all the feed back and information.