Two Truths and 5 Rules of Life
SIMPLE TRUTH 1:
Lovers help each other undress before sex.
However, after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story -- In life, no one helps you once you're screwed?
SIMPLE TRUTH 2:
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say, "Congrats."
But, none of them come up to the man - pats his **** and say, "Good job!"
Moral of the story -- Hard work is rarely appreciated?
FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE:
1. Money cannot buy happiness - but it's far more comfortable to cry in a new Porsche
than in an old Chevy.
2. Forgive your enemy - but remember the *******'s name.
3. If you help someone when they're in trouble - they will always remember you
when they're in trouble again.
4. Alcohol does not solve any problems - but then neither does milk.
5. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
A southeast Florida laid back beach bum and volunteer bikini assessor who lives on island time.