I was wondering..........

HiHHiH Posts: 407 Deckhand
How many of you have a Parent you just can't deal with? You Love them because they are a Parent, But you can't
stand to be around them? Mine is my Dad. I have to go see him today and I'm dreading it to the point
I'm starting to feel sick. I love my Dad but he's an arrogant, opinionated, rude ****. I'm 51(oldest) and
still can't do anything right. I haven't seen him in 2 months. He's been calling my Mom,(they divorced when I was 15)
and really dragging me through the mud. sorry, ungrateful etc.When I get over there it'll be the same old #$%!
interrupting me, talking over me almost to the point of screaming so he came shove his opinions down my throat.
Anyhoo I was wondering if I was the only one? Oh yeah I did/do NOT do this to my Son's. My Oldest contacts me
1-2 x a week and my youngest still lives with me. Ok I'm off the soap box.
:fishing The longer I'm Single, The more I get to fish!! :fishing
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Replies

  • HiHHiH Posts: 407 Deckhand
    1 more thing, The only reason I continue to put up with him is I've always preached
    to my Boy's is to be the better person. So I'm practicing what I preached.
    :fishing The longer I'm Single, The more I get to fish!! :fishing
  • CaptTaterCaptTater Posts: 20,096 AG
    Why go see him. I have no problem not seeing people that I don't like
    I did not read the story but if you take tax payers money maybe you should be held to some standards.-Cyclist
    when we say the same thing about welfare recipients, you cry like a wounded buffalo Sopchoppy
    It's their money, they spend it how they like. Truth and honesty have nothing to do with it. - Mr Jr
    "“A radical is one who advocates sweeping changes in the existing laws and methods of government.” "
  • rrbgttrrbgtt Posts: 6,758 Admiral
    I couldn't imagine.

    What I would give for a quail hunt with my Dad.......
    From hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. Ye damned bobcat!
  • PolarPolar Lake WorthPosts: 22,423 AG
    CaptTater wrote: »
    Why go see him. I have no problem not seeing people that I don't like

    You see GT all the time
  • tankardtankard Posts: 7,031 Admiral
    My mom voted for Obama the first time.

    I stopped bringing her fish.

    She did not vote for Obama the second time.

    I resumed bringing her fish.
  • fishknutfishknut Posts: 3,928 Captain
    Sorry to hear that Hi, Im very fortunate my dad is in his mid 60s and we still hunt, fish, and dirtbike together, he's my best friend. Good luck, and hug your boys.
    Fail to plan, plan to fail.......
  • fishknutfishknut Posts: 3,928 Captain
    tankard wrote: »
    My mom voted for Obama the first time.

    I stopped bringing her fish.

    She did not vote for Obama the second time.

    I resumed bringing her fish.

    Nice!
    Fail to plan, plan to fail.......
  • HuntressJaxHuntressJax Posts: 696 Officer
    HiH wrote: »
    How many of you have a Parent you just can't deal with? You Love them because they are a Parent, But you can't
    stand to be around them? Mine is my Dad. I have to go see him today and I'm dreading it to the point
    I'm starting to feel sick. I love my Dad but he's an arrogant, opinionated, rude ****. I'm 51(oldest) and
    still can't do anything right. I haven't seen him in 2 months. He's been calling my Mom,(they divorced when I was 15)
    and really dragging me through the mud. sorry, ungrateful etc.When I get over there it'll be the same old #$%!
    interrupting me, talking over me almost to the point of screaming so he came shove his opinions down my throat.
    Anyhoo I was wondering if I was the only one? Oh yeah I did/do NOT do this to my Son's. My Oldest contacts me
    1-2 x a week and my youngest still lives with me. Ok I'm off the soap box.

    You are being abused and no one should tolerate it even from family. Being a better person does not mean you have to take it. Stop seeing him.
  • HuntressJaxHuntressJax Posts: 696 Officer
    tankard wrote: »
    My mom voted for Obama the first time.

    I stopped bringing her fish.

    She did not vote for Obama the second time.

    I resumed bringing her fish.

    Sorry to hear that, my mom wouldn't have considered it....
  • MRichardsonMRichardson Posts: 9,202 Admiral
    He always been like that?
    Better beat his az$ before it's too late.
    I have never seen live bones, but I know that they are often used by rich people to decorate the interior.
  • Sea SnakeSea Snake Posts: 5,437 Admiral
    What if you decided not to go see him...and this went on for a while and then he died suddenly....

    Ask yourself ...would you feel guilty for not seeing him, cause he hurts your feelings?

    ...or would you feel relieved that he finally died?...

    And if he really is an ****....how many friend do you think he really has...maybe not many.

    Man up...go see your pop !!

    You'll be glad you did in the long run....hang out, do what he likes to do, go bowling or something, have a cigar, or a beer, whistle at fat women....you get the drift.....

    just sayin'......
  • ChuddybuckrivetChuddybuckrivet Posts: 3,156 Officer
    He might not realize he's doing it.
    Go see him, put your foot down, and tell him what you just told us.
    Do it calmly and without raising your voice.
    When you've said what you need, tell him you hope he will think about it and get up and leave.
    Whatever you do, keep your cool. Your message will sink in much better. If you do it in a pissed off way, he'll brush it off
    as if you only said it in anger.

    There is my Dr Phil advice for the day. Good Luck.
  • HiHHiH Posts: 407 Deckhand
    He always been like that?
    Better beat his az$ before it's too late.
    He was a pretty good Dad until I was 18. Then he became a total A hole. Up until
    I was 22, His answer to every argument or disagreement was to bow up and threaten to kick my A$$.
    Until I stood up to him and dared him to hit me with the 2x4 he was holding. I promised him
    I would kill him if he hit me with it. I moved out no long after that. He never threatened me again. He's now 73.
    If I strike him, It's a felony, I lose my job, cwp, everything. He ain't worth it.
    :fishing The longer I'm Single, The more I get to fish!! :fishing
  • JonsredfishinJonsredfishin Posts: 1,784 Captain
    ****, we might be brothers! I could go on and on about this subject. My dad and I haven't spoken to each other in 6 years. I've reached out a few times and ended up getting burned every time. Take my advice and just keep the negativity out of your life.
    One president put a man on the moon.
    Another president put a man in the Lady's bathroom.
  • MRichardsonMRichardson Posts: 9,202 Admiral
    HiH wrote: »
    He was a pretty good Dad until I was 18. Then he became a total A hole. Up until
    I was 22, His answer to every argument or disagreement was to bow up and threaten to kick my A$$.
    Until I stood up to him and dared him to hit me with the 2x4 he was holding. I promised him
    I would kill him if he hit me with it. I moved out no long after that. He never threatened me again. He's now 73.
    If I strike him, It's a felony, I lose my job, cwp, everything. He ain't worth it.

    Well then at least tell him he's a **** and you're tired of his ****.
    If he wants to change before he dies and get more time with you, that's on him.
    I have never seen live bones, but I know that they are often used by rich people to decorate the interior.
  • HiHHiH Posts: 407 Deckhand
    ****, we might be brothers! I could go on and on about this subject. My dad and I haven't spoken to each other in 6 years. I've reached out a few times and ended up getting burned every time. Take my advice and just keep the negativity out of your life.
    I ain't told ya'll half of it!!!! There's not enough bandwidth. Ok here we go headed out......
    :fishing The longer I'm Single, The more I get to fish!! :fishing
  • GardawgGardawg Posts: 8,522 Admiral
    Write him a letter.

    Outline the specific behavior he must adhere to in order for you or his grandson to pay him a visit.

    Tell him if he doesn't get his spit wired tight then you will disavow him as your father and he will never see you or his grandson again.

    Remind him you're the one that's going to pick out his nursing home.
    “Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.

    Heres Tom with the Weather.”
  • gregglgreggl Posts: 21,594 Officer
    I havent spoken to my father in years.
  • CaptTaterCaptTater Posts: 20,096 AG
    greggl wrote: »
    I havent spoken to my father in years.

    me either. but of course he's dead. I have sisters I've spoken to since his funeral and a brother I didn't even know died until someone forwarded me the obit.
    I did not read the story but if you take tax payers money maybe you should be held to some standards.-Cyclist
    when we say the same thing about welfare recipients, you cry like a wounded buffalo Sopchoppy
    It's their money, they spend it how they like. Truth and honesty have nothing to do with it. - Mr Jr
    "“A radical is one who advocates sweeping changes in the existing laws and methods of government.” "
  • CaptTaterCaptTater Posts: 20,096 AG
    Polar wrote: »
    You see GT all the time

    But when i don't I don't feel bad. :)
    I did not read the story but if you take tax payers money maybe you should be held to some standards.-Cyclist
    when we say the same thing about welfare recipients, you cry like a wounded buffalo Sopchoppy
    It's their money, they spend it how they like. Truth and honesty have nothing to do with it. - Mr Jr
    "“A radical is one who advocates sweeping changes in the existing laws and methods of government.” "
  • ChuckcChuckc Posts: 4,398 Captain
    Tough deal for sure. Would like to have the chance to correct some wrongs with Mom as she died when I was in H.S. and had the teenager mental deficiency most are afflicted with at that point in their lives.

    My M-I-L is a bit like your Dad. My wife has basically taken the I love you as my Mother but will not be treated like a child nor put up with the crap approach. She is one of a very small number of people I have totally lost my cool and went off on.
  • Mango TangoMango Tango Posts: 2,019 Captain
    tankard wrote: »
    My mom voted for Obama the first time.

    I stopped bringing her fish.

    She did not vote for Obama the second time.

    I resumed bringing her fish.


    ha.....good one.

    OP it's been said time and time again.........you can't pick your relatives. And the advice for obligatory encounters remains the same "Just be polite."
  • PhishbohnPhishbohn Posts: 2,978 Captain
    There is no one in my family that I'm not on speaking terms with.

    My father died when I was 4. My step-father and I only had a connection with football, boxing and golf. He threatened to kick me out about 3 months before I was to go to college. I told him not to be impatient, I'd be gone soon enough. Later, much later, I got a chance to tell him what he meant to our family, how much good he brought to us and how much he taught me. I got to tell him that the week he died.
    Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face. - Mike Tyson.
  • PopeyePopeye Posts: 14,296 AG
    My father was an *******.

    Get over it and dont be a repeat *******.

    Keep your kids away from him.

    EZPZ
    When I was younger, I could remember anything...

    whether it had happened or not.

    Mark Twain
  • SJCSJC Posts: 2,570 Captain
    I can't really stand my mom. My grandparents raised me and my 3 younger brothers. I'm the only kid that gives her a little bit of respect. I just find it funny she thinks she's still our "mom". She likes to act like she is the best person in the world and likes to tell you your wrong. She doesn't do it with me but one day she will. So far I'm the only one that hasn't clicked on her yet.
    The Beatings will continue until moral improves!
  • anejo22anejo22 Posts: 1,511 Officer
    your a grown *** man stand up for your self and let no man or woman put you down.i cant stand my pops got his back almost my whole life but he is a bad man and cares about himself only .it aint in him to think about anyone else.i helped him through cancer,got his house back for him,he bled me for anything he could.that wasnt the first time.i had a well for my sake lets try again thing ,it aint worth it.i can tell you when he kicks the bucket the only regrets you will have will be that he wasnt a better father.And thats not ur burden its his.tell him what you have to say to get him right,if he dont like it tell him have fun sitting around all alone.
  • tankardtankard Posts: 7,031 Admiral
    I guess I'm lucky, apart from the Obama thing my whole family gets along great.

    My mom and dad even get along now, and they've been divorced for 20+ years (hmmm maybe that has something to do with it..)

    One of my bros HAD an evil wife, but they are no longer together.
  • yak_angleryak_angler Posts: 2,584 Captain
    rrbgtt wrote: »
    I couldn't imagine.

    What I would give for a quail hunt with my Dad.......

    This


    - miss mine fiercely
    5607_aa5e_zps24435aae.gif
  • rock_fishrock_fish Posts: 11,692 AG
    Does he not move away from the register when he's done paying and waiting for his food to make room for the people in line and just stands there oblivious? I might have to end it if he did and was my dad
  • HuntressJaxHuntressJax Posts: 696 Officer
    Sea Snake wrote: »
    What if you decided not to go see him...and this went on for a while and then he died suddenly....

    Ask yourself ...would you feel guilty for not seeing him, cause he hurts your feelings?

    ...or would you feel relieved that he finally died?...

    And if he really is an ****....how many friend do you think he really has...maybe not many.

    Man up...go see your pop !!

    You'll be glad you did in the long run....hang out, do what he likes to do, go bowling or something, have a cigar, or a beer, whistle at fat women....you get the drift.....

    just sayin'......

    Steve, if he was the problem and not his dad, I believe you would be spot on. One can only control their own behavior, at age 51, the man has taken enough. Rid yourself of all negative people family or not especially if you have turned the other check for 51 years.
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