how do you hook a snook

Florida Sportsman

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  1. #1
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    how do you hook a snook

    A few days ago a friend of mine sent me a 'Viet Nam Veteran' hat. I never had one of these before and I was pretty hyped about it, especially because my friend was considerate enough to take the time to give it to me.

    Yesterday, I wore it when I went to Walmart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer but, since I retired, trips to Wally World to look at the Walmartians is always good for some comic relief. Besides, I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent the establishment. But, enough of my psychological fixes.

    While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Vet Nam Vet?"

    "No" I replied.

    "Then why are you wearing that hat?"

    "Because I couldn't find my hat from the War of 1812." I thought it was a snappy retort.

    "The War of 1812 huh." the Walmartian queried, "When was that?"

    God forgive but, I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1936"

    He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?"

    "It was a Black Op. No one is supposed to know about it." This was beginning to be way too fun.

    "Dude! Really!" he exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?"

    I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in a low voice said, "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission."

    "Dude!", he was really getting excited about what he was hearing. "That is seriously Awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?"

    "Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage."

    The moron nodded knowingly.

    "Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still Top Secret and I shouldn't have said anything."

    "Oh yeah." he gave me the "don't threaten me look. "Like, what's gonna happen if I do?"

    With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't want anything to happen to them would we?"

    The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door.

    By this time the lady behind me was about to have a heart attack she was laughing so hard. I just grinned at her. After checking out and going to the parking lot I saw dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me he started pointing excitedly in my direction.

    Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the "I see you" gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped in the car and sped out of the parking lot.

    What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going back with a Homeland Security hat.

    Whoever said retirement is boring just needs the right kind of hat...

  2. #2
    Senior Member Jboat's Avatar
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    According to the supreme court there would be nothing wrong with you wearing any hat you wanted. You should also go get about 5 Purple Hearts, 3 Bronze Stars, and a Medal of Honor. All perfectly Legal to wear as long as you don't make any money.

  3. #3
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    That was a great story. LOL J-boat you must have seen the Old Navy story recently. Under UCMJ and civil laws it is illegal to knowlingly claim any medal or award given by the government or DOD that you did not recieve. As long as you don't mis-represent the uniform or commit fraud by presenting yourself as a "war hero" or something you are good to go. I want to go with you too Wally World while you do that and get it on film. That would be hilarious.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Jboat's Avatar
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    http://mobile.washingtonpost.com/rss...D9V_story.html


    I did hear about the old navy thing, but this came out yesterday after the obomacare ruling. It is what I was referring to.

  5. #5
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    luckily i have never received a purple heart and i would never dishonor our fellow brother and sister in arms who have received our nations highest honor unfortunately most medal of honer recipients have made the ultimate sacrifice for there country

  6. #6
    Senior Member Jboat's Avatar
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    Sorry I think the link is broke. Google the supreme courts ruling on military medals.

  7. #7
    Senior Member nitroskiff's Avatar
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    How is this a fishing report?
    Nitro Performance Bass Boats

  8. #8
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    That is pretty crazy. There was another case not to long ago that was overturned by the supreme court in regards to the Stolen Valor Act.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Gaffit's Avatar
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    First you have to know where they are. Use whatever you can find in your freezer that will fit on a 9/0 circle hook. Then, when you feel something at the end of your rod, set the hook. You can do this with any fish. Very effective. Before, go to a local tackle shop to buy your bait and tackle. Don't go to walmart to buy your 9/0 hooker because they support the wrong causes. Good luck.

  10. #10
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    I am sorry to hear your pain. Thanks for having a good attitude and making sport of it. I kind of do the walmart theater thing too, mostly though I look at ****.

    I always thought the Stolen Valor act was stupid. There are enough laws to be applied on frauds and no way to rid the world of phoneys.

    Would you folks consider St.Marys still part of the Low Country?

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