House husbands....

24

Replies

  • rrbgttrrbgtt Posts: 6,753 Admiral
    SAENole wrote: »
    Unless you're a member of Congress, it pretty much takes a dual income household to get along these days.


    No, it just takes living within the means of one income.

    Actually if you deduct childcare, transportation costs, clothing, and food from the second income; it's often better for the wife to stay at home.
    From hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. Ye damned bobcat!
  • SAENoleSAENole Posts: 9,493 Admiral
    My wife and I have to work so others can sit on porches. It's just that simple.
    I may be entitled to compensation.
  • heavychevy15heavychevy15 Posts: 835 Officer
    SAENole wrote: »
    Unless you're a member of Congress, it pretty much takes a dual income household to get along these days.

    :funnypost
    bc1da2c4-399a-44b7-aa11-cbf910301ba3_zpsccb1a08f.png
  • rrbgttrrbgtt Posts: 6,753 Admiral
    SAENole wrote: »
    My wife and I have to work so we can afford the lifestyle we want. It's just that simple.

    FIFY

    Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying you should do it my way. I'm just saying it's simply a choice.
    From hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. Ye damned bobcat!
  • SuperFlukeSuperFluke Posts: 1,889 Officer
    rrbgtt wrote: »
    I can't imagine a Mother leaving a newborn and travelling 5 days a week for the first year of the child's life.

    I guess I'm just old.....

    At least it is a parent spending the time with the baby.
  • Grey ghostGrey ghost Posts: 50 Deckhand
    rrbgtt wrote: »
    I can't imagine a Mother leaving a newborn and travelling 5 days a week for the first year of the child's life.

    I guess I'm just old.....
    .

    It's sad to say that she will miss out on a lot for the first year. We both know it's what's best for our son in the long run. All of my family still live's in Miami, and my wife's family all live out west. That was the main reason for me staying home for a year and not working and having to put our son in daycare. Neither of us care to trust a stranger to watch our son at that age. And it's hard to say no to 120k a year right now in today's crappy economy. And after a year of traveling she will have the choice to to live anywhere in the South East region and be able to keep advancing up in the company. Thank you for the replies.
  • Buford CletusBuford Cletus Posts: 1,701 Captain
    SAENole wrote: »
    Unless you're a member of Congress, it pretty much takes a dual income household to get along these days.

    No it doesn't. My wife and I have done it now for 10 years. I t does require a great deal of sacrifice, but it was one we were willing to make to have our children raised at home. I promise the end result has been well worth the sacrifice.
  • gregglgreggl Posts: 21,594 Officer
    I did it for two years.

    Hardest job ever.
  • Billy No MatesBilly No Mates Posts: 2,329 Captain
    rrbgtt wrote: »
    FIFY

    Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying you should do it my way. I'm just saying it's simply a choice.

    :signs

    The problem is that most Americans spend every raise they get. Don't do that for about 10 years and see how many hundreds of dollars you will start putting in the bank every month! And how many more hundreds you can put in your 401K.
  • Ol MuckyOl Mucky Posts: 5,471 Admiral
    All the stay at home mom's I know and see regularly **** about their husbands, have difficulty fitting in their mani/pedi's in between their shopping time, dropping their kids off at the sitters/day care, gym time, luncheons and whining about how their house cleaners/maids are being paid too much.
    Its a rotten gig if you ask me. I bet their boyfriends get pissed too that she's never available!!
    Not sure being a stay at home dad would be a good gig, i'd end up bitter
    I have a much bigger and more powerful button
  • SonOfAGunninSonOfAGunnin Posts: 5,084 Officer
    Wifey and I have discussed it. She'll take her FMLA time off while I work, then I'll become a stay at home dad for as long as needed. It should be said that her Ivy League education has/is paying off well.
  • SinjunmbSinjunmb Posts: 91 Greenhorn
    i have been a stay at home dad for a one and a half years now. this was not something i ever thought i would be doing, but after a major spine surgery my company would not let me return to work unless i was 100%, problem was doctor said i would never be 100% ever again. so when we new for sure i was going to retire we fired the house keeper and told daycare that our son would not be returning.
    i do laundry, clean the house, drop off and pickup my son from school, exercise at a gym to keep up my physical therapy. my wife may kid with me about not having to work, but realizes that me doing all the house work makes it alot easier on her.
    the problem i am having now is i am only 45 i have no friends that don't work and it does get lonely at times, summers are great thou spending every day with my son. i am going to have find some kind of group to join or something to keep away the depression.
    would i still be working if i could, in a heart beat i only had 7 years to go for full retirement, but it is what it is.
  • rrbgttrrbgtt Posts: 6,753 Admiral
    Sinjunmb wrote: »
    i have been a stay at home dad for a one and a half years now. this was not something i ever thought i would be doing, but after a major spine surgery my company would not let me return to work unless i was 100%, problem was doctor said i would never be 100% ever again. so when we new for sure i was going to retire we fired the house keeper and told daycare that our son would not be returning.
    i do laundry, clean the house, drop off and pickup my son from school, exercise at a gym to keep up my physical therapy. my wife may kid with me about not having to work, but realizes that me doing all the house work makes it alot easier on her.
    the problem i am having now is i am only 45 i have no friends that don't work and it does get lonely at times, summers are great thou spending every day with my son. i am going to have find some kind of group to join or something to keep away the depression.
    would i still be working if i could, in a heart beat i only had 7 years to go for full retirement, but it is what it is.

    What did you do before your surgery?
    From hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. Ye damned bobcat!
  • gregglgreggl Posts: 21,594 Officer
    Sinjunmb wrote: »
    the problem i am having now is i am only 45 i have no friends that don't work and it does get lonely at times, summers are great thou spending every day with my son. i am going to have find some kind of group to join or something to keep away the depression.

    It took a good year to re-learn to socialize properly, when I went back into the workforce.

    As I said, toughest job there is.
  • Dudes, first it's not "Mr. Mom", it's just Dad. If a woman takes her child to a sports event, is she "Mrs. Dad"?? It's 2013. Let's get a grip.

    Being a stay at home parent is a great thing. Whether it's Mom or Dad. Equally good. I think a little one needs a lot of nurturing, so as long as the stay at home parent can give it, more power to 'em!

    I agree that it's a hard job and it presents it's challenges. With any good marriage you have to work at it and re access what's working and what isn't in the choices you make.

    The social get togethers with other kids / parents are going to mostly be with women, so that may be weird. You may have to look for daddy and me playdates with other dads and kids.

    Normally, I would say that you need to have scheduled time off, but if she's going to be gone all week, that will be hard. When she's home on the weekend, she's probably going to be craving family time. But again, maybe you can get part of Sunday off to have some down time and just do something for yourself. Or, arrange a babysitter for sometime during the week and you can go fishing or whatever.

    I would LOVE to have a stay at home spouse. When I was young and stupid, I thought just a woman could be a stay at home parent. Now I know better. :wink
  • gregglgreggl Posts: 21,594 Officer
    I vividly remember my wife's first day 'home from work'.

    I used to walk in, 'Honey, I had a rough day.. and need some time to decompress before diving into the family.'

    I greeted her at the door with an apology - 'Deal with the kids... My toughest day at the office was easier than this..' :)
  • Go MongoGo Mongo Posts: 2,105 Captain
    I could not be a stay at home dad although those that do it have my respect. Not that it is harder or easier than the office, but I honestly do not think I could do it.

    I got married 8 years ago. I have not washed a dish in 8 years. We have 3 kids but I have
    never changed a diaper filled with poo. I do not mop and do not bath my children.

    Right or wrong that is the way I was raised and that is how my wife and I choose to run the family.

    If some event outside our control alters this, then we will do the best to adapt but for now this is how it is.

    I could not do half the job the Mrs does at keeping the family and home in check nor do I want to try.
    “Every day is a new day. It is better to be lucky. But I would rather be exact. Then when luck comes you are ready.”
    ― Ernest Hemingway, The Old Man and the Sea
  • pointerDixie214pointerDixie214 Posts: 5,658 Officer
    Go Mongo wrote: »
    I could not be a stay at home dad although those that do it have my respect. Not that it is harder or easier than the office, but I honestly do not think I could do it.

    I got married 8 years ago. I have not washed a dish in 8 years. We have 3 kids but I have
    never changed a diaper filled with poo. I do not mop and do not bath my children.

    Right or wrong that is the way I was raised and that is how my wife and I choose to run the family.

    If some event outside our control alters this, then we will do the best to adapt but for now this is how it is.

    I could not do half the job the Mrs does at keeping the family and home in check nor do I want to try.

    Man... I am glad that works for you, and no judgement meant by this. But I would feel worthless if I never helped Mrs. PD around the house (or with kids diapers, etc... assuming we had them) whether I worked in an office or not. But I guess the world would be real boring if everyone was the same, so to each their own I suppose. No harm in it. :beer
    "Her beauty radiated like a beacon from a lighthouse!" - Buddy McCoy :hail
  • rrbgttrrbgtt Posts: 6,753 Admiral
    Man... I am glad that works for you, and no judgement meant by this. But I would feel worthless if I never helped Mrs. PD around the house (or with kids diapers, etc... assuming we had them) whether I worked in an office or not. But I guess the world would be real boring if everyone was the same, so to each their own I suppose. No harm in it. :beer

    He described the way it is at my house also. I have changed maybe 3 diapers in my life with 4 children. Rhonda even mowed the grass when the kids were still too young to do it. I went to work and came home to supper on the table, my house and clothes cleaned. It has worked for us for over 20 years. Rhonda and I were both raised this way and we also think it's the right way.

    With 4 kids, Rhonda couldn't make enough to cover the daycare; much less the clothes, transportation costs, meals, etc.

    I do agree that there are always circumstances that can cause you to have to do things differently.
    From hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. Ye damned bobcat!
  • gregglgreggl Posts: 21,594 Officer
    To each his own, but I have too much respect and hope for my daughter, to relegate her to that future.
  • HialeahAnglerHialeahAngler Posts: 9,601 Officer
    sometimes I do it for 6-8 hrs at a time.
    friedpeacocks.jpg
  • rrbgttrrbgtt Posts: 6,753 Admiral
    greggl wrote: »
    To each his own, but I have too much respect and hope for my daughter, to relegate her to that future.

    Do you really believe I don't respect my wife? There is no one on God's earth that has more of my respect and admiration; not to mention my love.

    There is no greater task than raising your children
    From hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. Ye damned bobcat!
  • cprcpr Posts: 9,170 Admiral
    My wife and I worked (still do) opposite shifts. I worked nights so I had the kids more and spent a lot of time at school volunteering. It was tiring but I enjoyed it until they hit middle school. It was still fun but as they and their friends got older my tolerance level for stupidity decreased exponentially. My kids did a lot of stuff a mom wouldn't do like fishing, camping, kayaking, golfing, and hitting theme parks ( cypress gardens) and traveling because I couldn't stand being in the house for a full day. Their mom still was involved and did the mom stuff in the evenings so it worked. She has some regrets about missing that time when they were in pre-school and the lower grades doing mom stuff.

    I think a woman would hold missing her kids childhood against the man later on if he was a pure stay at home dad.
    "The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function." F. Scott Fitzgerald

    "Prediction is very difficult, especially if it's about the future." Niels Bohr
  • gregglgreggl Posts: 21,594 Officer
    rrbgtt wrote: »
    Do you really believe I don't respect my wife? There is no one on God's earth that has more of my respect and admiration; not to mention my love.

    Not that my opinion in any way matters, but I'm sure that you do respect her.

    I just find your description of role definition to be a bit outdated, as an example to your kids.

    Got 4 boys or any girls in the mix?

    Is your ideal that they marry into a mirror of your life?
  • rrbgttrrbgtt Posts: 6,753 Admiral
    greggl wrote: »
    Not that my opinion in any way matters, but I'm sure that you do respect her.

    I just find your description of role definition to be a bit outdated, as an example to your kids.

    Got 4 boys or any girls in the mix?

    Is your ideal that they marry into a mirror of your life?

    I have 3 girls and 1 boy. I would love to see my daughters become the mirror image of their Mother; who at age 40 went back to college and got her teaching degree (4.0) then continued on to get her Masters (4.0) and intends to get her doctorate. She is currently a very happy, underpaid algebra/geometry/trig/calc/ teacher at a private Christian school.
    From hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. Ye damned bobcat!
  • Go MongoGo Mongo Posts: 2,105 Captain
    greggl wrote: »
    To each his own, but I have too much respect and hope for my daughter, to relegate her to that future.

    You are way off base.

    We have both sons and a daughter. Both my sons and my daughter will do whatever they want in life. No different than my wife and myself. Whether doctors, lawyers, artists, stay at home parents, etc...

    This is not about a lack of respect for anyone.

    That is like saying I have too much respect and hope for my sons to regulate their future to the **** of American men. I would never say that, because that would be wrong and insulting to the stay at home dads.
    “Every day is a new day. It is better to be lucky. But I would rather be exact. Then when luck comes you are ready.”
    ― Ernest Hemingway, The Old Man and the Sea
  • If I remember, Rusty's wife has her Master's degree and teaches now that the kids are older. From what he has written, I think she's still holding down the house.

    The traditional roles are not for me, but I respect each family to make their own choices. If Dad wants to bring home the money and Mom wants to tend to the house and kids, more power to 'em. I don't think that those roles are exclusive to gender either. What I don't get is where the working parent doesn't help at all when he or she is home.

    When my kids were little and I was home, my spouse gladly changed diapers, helped with bath and bed time and generally helped out wherever needed. Why is the working parent off when they are home but the stay at home parent is still working?

    *edit - Rusty beat me to it.
  • jad1097jad1097 Posts: 9,603 Officer
    rrbgtt wrote: »
    No, it just takes living within the means of one income.

    Actually if you deduct childcare, transportation costs, clothing, and food from the second income; it's often better for the wife to stay at home.

    I agree. I was home for a year or two she was for about eight. The kids can pretty much take care of themselves now being teenagers.


    My wife would not have traveled like that even if her income tripled.

    Traveling sucked for me. I hated being away from the family. The weekends I was home were sleepless. As soon as the kids are out of the house I think I am going to develop a serious "have tools, willing to travel" attitude.
  • pointerDixie214pointerDixie214 Posts: 5,658 Officer
    rrbgtt wrote: »
    He described the way it is at my house also. I have changed maybe 3 diapers in my life with 4 children. Rhonda even mowed the grass when the kids were still too young to do it. I went to work and came home to supper on the table, my house and clothes cleaned. It has worked for us for over 20 years. Rhonda and I were both raised this way and we also think it's the right way.

    With 4 kids, Rhonda couldn't make enough to cover the daycare; much less the clothes, transportation costs, meals, etc.

    I do agree that there are always circumstances that can cause you to have to do things differently.
    Like I said, nothing wrong with it at all and no disrespect meant. I just couldn't do it is all. :beer
    "Her beauty radiated like a beacon from a lighthouse!" - Buddy McCoy :hail
  • Go MongoGo Mongo Posts: 2,105 Captain
    Like I said, nothing wrong with it at all and no disrespect meant. I just couldn't do it is all. :beer
    :beer <<<< see that? My wife brought us those beers.
    :)
    “Every day is a new day. It is better to be lucky. But I would rather be exact. Then when luck comes you are ready.”
    ― Ernest Hemingway, The Old Man and the Sea

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